May 2013
I had one of the best days i’ve had in a while. I met john where he was fishing and fished with him for about an hour when he decided he was done, because he’d been there for 6 hours. we then went back to his place and then went to this gorgeous waterfall in Granby and he said he really enjoyed it. I love things like waterfalls and waterholes way too much so it was nice that enjoyed it...
my life as a music major is such a fucking joke. i feel like i literally have not improved or learned anything especially after my jury comments and semester grades holy motherfuck
I just got into the weirdest mood thinking about everything. Like stephanie and i took my grandma out to lunch for mothers day and all was fine in the world and then i got my food and ate only a little until i got full, which is normal because lets be honest, when do i ever finish anything? but then everything seemed to drag on form there and stephanie ordered wine which is like, okay great but...
April 2013
Its not like a give a damn what you think anymore because you’re an asshole to me 90% of the time and the other 10% is just you talking about yourself and me trying to hold a decent conversation like any normal person would.
And I don’t care if people swear at me. But its one thing to say “shut the fuck up” in a joking manner, and another to say “shut the fuck up...
Sometimes I go back and read my old posts and I just think about how ridiculous I sounded and I want to delete the pots but at the same time…I felt that way at one point and I can’t deny it. Maybe I was being overdramatic but I still felt that way and looking back at it just gives me a perspective to look at things in the present and future.
These are the kinds of things I think of at...
its when people go from wanting to know my every thought to telling me “your mind is beyond my scope of understanding so i give up” that makes me so insecure about opening up. i hope you understand.
I walked through Gloria's house
With my mom a few weeks ago. A hand written note on a napkin was left by her daughter, welcoming us to take anything. We went in every room of her house. I took a duffel bag because I needed one. And I snuck a bracelet that was sitting on a bed. I went downstairs to wait for my mom and looked at the unplugged fridge. It had pictures of her family and her extended family, newspaper clippings, ect....
something weird.
i was thinking about this multiple times the past few days and i’m not really sure how to explain this, among other unexplainable things. but for my own sake and maybe the interest of you, i’ll try my best.
but there’s something strange, chilling, eerie, if you will….about relating to songs deeply. I guess there are so many songs out there that we can easily relate to,...
its weird having someone appreciate you drunk or sober, someone who will text you all day and ask you to hang out with them, someone who gives you stupid nicknames, someone who tells you they like you, and like spending time with you. especially since every other time its been with someone whos in it for the sex or is drunk or ignorant.
March 2013
i’ve never enjoyed laying next to someone so much as i do you. its nice.
nothing is kept a secret in this music department and i hope you know that. and also, i hope you know that He knows what you did, hah. and also, lying to yourself never did you any good.
glad i’m not there anymore. i’m just tryina have fun, man!
I pulled out the piece that ed wants me to put on the backburner today in a practice room and it just reminded me of how much Thursday sucked.
From the comments between me and Noah and skipping chorus and my lesson that I went into crying..
And Ed just could tell I was getting so frustrated with it that he gave me a new piece. But I pulled the old one back out and just got frustrated again...
last night i was listening to Bon Iver and i just started to wonder why i like the music i listen to. because generally the instrumentation of the bands i like is pretty sweet and you can tell theres a lot of talent and thought behind it. but not all the bands i listen to/like have that. sometimes theyre just simply guitar and piano and voice and maybe drums.
and Justin Vernon’s voice is...
I have the messiest of messy hair, i burp a lot, i’m extremely sarcastic, moody, rude, i listen to some pretty weird music, i’m not very talented at one thing in particular, i work at a greasy fast food restaurant, and do a lot of weird things and on that particular day nothing was different except that i was talking to insects trying to get them to be friends with each other and when...
For all good reasons a change is coming, a change is coming for all good reasons now
from the archives of buzzword
Only a number of hours separates me from the serenity and silence of the moon, And the necessity to function while the sun’s rays shine through a classroom window. Eyes shut tight for most as I lay awake, pondering what will come.
Mind functions better now than it does when it’s needed,
But this doesn’t disappoint me.
A whole new spectrum of thoughts implanted, as if by...
as the wind symphony concert approaches i’m getting a little sad…a lot of sad, because gloria used to come to these concerts with my parents. everyone does. i have the hugest support team, my parents, grandparents, and friends’ parents always come just to listen and see me for two minutes afterwards. how great is that? but gloria cant come so it breaks my heart a little because...
February 2013
i love my sister and my family so much more than anything in this world. i dont know what id be or where or who id be without them.
Through My Eyes: Rare occurrences/Gloria... →
steggiec:
I’ve only ever seen my father cry twice in my lifetime. The first time was when he was yelling at my sister. My mom was gone for the week, so he took on the disciplining himself. We don’t need to get into details, but basically he wasn’t going to let her come on a road trip with me that we had…
I'm not ready for thursday.
3 tags
I went home today for a little while and looking at Gloria’s house seemed the same as always. I couldn’t envision or comprehend that she wasn’t coming back home. I don’t know when I will.
Anonymous asked: happy valentine's day pretty girl! =) even though i dont really believe in this commercialized day
Anonymous asked: hi
stephanie won a plasma screen tv from a raffle at work a couple years ago. we hooked it up downstairs and the first thing we hooked up to it was the VCR. we popped in a homevideo and watched. There was one point were stephanie was learning how to ride her bike with my dad, going around the cul de sac, and my mom was videotaping it, and i, no more than 2 years old said some gibberish like...
With all your lies, you’re still very lovable.
my high school self was so much cooler than my current self. even my last year’s self was alright. this year is just not my year. i can’t even think of interesting things about me.
cool, court.
Don't judge someone because they sin differently...
1 tag
to the anon.
i answered the question but it disappeared. so my response is, i do use this still, and in fact used it recently. but with in the past few weeks i havent been able to because of work and classes among other things.
1 tag
i thoroughly miss my philosophy class at stcc a couple years ago. Camerota was such a brilliant asshole it was hilarious and ridiculous.
3 tags
i don’t see beauty as layers of make-up on top of orange skin with heavy eye liner and mascara, and purposely curled hair all pinned back with a half smile that makes your lips look good.
like for real, what happened to natural beauty. or even close to it.
and if you’re going to only like girls who take for days to make themselves available for the public, then you’re a self...
1 tag
on a side note
i was talking to a good but distant friend this past weekend. he blatantly told me that he had a dream that we’d spent one more night together. how quickly that conversation became awkward…only not really. because we then discussed how interesting and fun it would be to get one last night together again, and proceeded to spend the whole night talking about it while i was drinking some...
1 tag
Is this some kind of a sick fucking joke?
if there’s anything i could say thus far from what i’ve learned, it would be to appreciate the moments that made you happy because sometimes they dont last long and they end quickly. people change and people come and go. you change.
i wish i had appreciated those moments more and not taken them for granted.
“hey man” “sup” and “yo” is your new language. what did i do?
mentally preparing myself to work 10-6am in a...
and then have class at 8:15, 9:20, 10:25, 12:35, and 2:30
January 2013
a URL change is in my near future. i just need it to be a good one. probably back to one of my old ones if its still available. we’ll see i guess.
this isnt even fair. i shouldnt feel like this. you shouldnt be okay with me feeling like this. and youre doing exactly what you didnt want me to do. youre shutting me out. and it hurts. a lot.
And I will make sure to keep my distance
Say “I love you” when you’re not listening
How long can we keep this up?
please don’t stand so close to me
I’m having trouble breathing
I’m afraid of what you’ll see right now
I give you everything I am
All my broken heart beats
Until I know you understand
3am
Three am brought the end to a Hilary duff movie and the recurring thoughts that honestly haven’t left since early December. You read this but you will never understand how I’m feeling. Scratch that, I don’t even think you read this.
I’m dreading chorus and wind symphony. They were so much better when I had someone to make faces with and someone to blow kisses at like last...
Miss you to pieces.
1 tag
he had the “unhook the bra strap with one hand” thing down ohhh so well ahah
